2 Months!!

Wow how time flies! Olivia was born 8 weeks ago today and time has flown by!! As I think back on all the things that have happened since then and the feelings and emotions that I have felt....I realized that I don't have one of them written down! So, I am renewing my goal to write once a week :) But for now, I need to play catch-up, so here we go, starting from the beginning......

Pre-Birth:

By the time I hit 39 weeks I was measuring 40, almost 41 weeks and felt as big as a house. Nothing fit me quite right, my stretch marks were growing by the hour and I was soooo uncomfortable. We went into the hospital the Wednesday before Livvy was born as my contractions were 5 minutes apart but because they weren't strong enough, they sent us home and we reluctantly left. The next day at my doctor's appointment we all but begged him to start me, I was uncomfortable and so was Kirk:) He told us to go into the hospital that night, make a big deal about the pain and discomfort and since he was "on call" he would not send us home. We went in about 10:30 that night, May 24th, (my contractions had stopped during the day and I'm not that great at faking) and after they tried to send us home about 1:00 a.m. my doctor instructed them to give me some potocin and start the process. When the nurse came back to tell us that they were going to start me, Kirk looked at her and said "I could hug you right now!" Was I really that bad?

Labor: What an experience! Birth really is a miracle! How does one's body just know what to do? Wow! Labor and delivery was A LOT easier than I had imagined. When it was all over I thought to myself...that's it? HAHA! Once they got my epidural working correctly, it was a breeze. (Note to self: have the anesthesiologist start with a low dose of anesthesia next time to avoid anxiety attacks) Why anyone tries to go natural I will never know....if you have, props to you!, it is something I will never try.

After watching 4 videos and a little cat nap, she was ready to come out. I could feel her head moving quickly down the birth canal, what a weird feeling. Kirk ran to get the nurse and sure enough, she was coming! I only pushed on 4 contractions and out she came. I had a mirror so that I could see the whole process. Olivia's cheeks were so chubby that when just her head was out and the doctor stopped to tell me to look, I thought her little behind had come out first instead of her head. We had a good laugh...her cheeks were so cute (I say were because unfortunately, they are thinning out).

The experience of having my daughter placed on my chest just after birth and looking into her eyes is indescribable....to try to describe it would be an injustice. I cried, of course, and could not believe the true miracle that new life is....wow! From that moment on, I didn't want her to leave my side, its amazing the amount of love that I felt so suddenly. She had a great set of lungs and let us know she had arrived right away. She stopped crying when they set her on my chest, that was a good feeling, she knew who I was!

The hospital stay was great, Olivia didn't leave our room except for about 25 minutes when they took her to the nursery to suction her out a bit. She had quite a bit of gunk still in her that was making her breathe funny and being a worried mom, I was having a little bit of a breakdown over it. :) We stayed at the hospital for two days and had lots of visitors from family and friends....all of which we thoroughly enjoyed. We loved showing Olivia off...of course to us she is the cutest baby ever! :)

Post Birth:

I'm not going to lie and say that it has been peaches and cream since we brought Olivia home from the hospital. I think that I have experienced the thousands of emotions that exist in this world at least once since she was born if not more. Being a new mom is such a roller coaster ride, one minute I cannot get enough of her and the next I feel a little overwhelmed that someone is so dependent on me for their existence. But like most things, the great outweighs the not so great and she has been a joy. As much as I dreaded those late night feedings (it had been awhile since I saw the 3 and 4 o'clock hour), as soon as she looks at me with her big eyes, they aren't so bad and the tiredness sort of melts away, at least for the time being so we can enjoy the moment.

Watching Kirk with Olivia has been one of my greatest joys. I knew from the minute we found out it was girl that she would be the "apple of his eye" and know exactly where to go to get what she wanted. I thought it might take a little bit to see it, maybe when she was a little older, but she already has him hooked, and he is loving every minute of it. Kirk changed EVERY diaper but one in the hospital, I was shocked....but that should give you a good idea of how great he is to help me with her. Bathtime and her nightly feeding was his time to bond with her....now that he has started his new schedule at work he's reluctantly given those duties back to me but he still enjoys doing it on the weekends. One of his favorite things to do is to get her dressed in the morning....it creates a little bit more work for me since I end up with the job of hanging up all of the outfits that daddy tried on her.....who knew that "dress-up" would be so fun? :)

Despite the fact that Olivia has reflux and is quite cranky sometimes, she is a wonderful baby. I'll admit there have been times when we have cried together because I don't know how to fix her pain, and it wears on me emotionally. I told Kirk that if I have to hear "she will be fine" one more time I might have a breakdown. Its hard for me not to be able to "fix it". As her mother I should be able to do that, right?

Olivia has started to smile and giggle a little bit. We opened up one of her toys that she lays under and watches the lights and objects move and its fun to watch her be so fascinated with it. She is growing quickly, we have had to put many outfits away even though she only wore them once....what a shame :) But the girl has definitely got a closet full of clothes thanks to her aunties, uncles and grandparents! She is also starting to sleep most of the night; when she slept for 8 hours straight two nights ago, I had to check on her about every 30 minutes to make sure she was still breathing. Hopefully soon I will also get 8 straight hours of sleep...its been a long time!

Wow, what a ride. So far so good....Olivia truly is a miracle. Our family feels more complete, like this is how it was meant to be. We know it is. She has honestly healed my heart, something I wasn't sure was possible 100%, but she was the missing piece and I am so grateful for her. The Lord has interesting ways of giving you what you need.....his "tender mercies". Olivia is one of those for me.

Missy